BATH HOUSES

A trip to the Russian baths (banya) can be a memorable experience, but then again so can being stampeded by goats. The banya begins in the dressing and undressing room, where everyone strips down (public banyas are segregated by sex). Towels in the form of large white sheets are available and most people grab one or two. Warm up in the Finnish-style dry sauna (heated to between 100ø and 120ø C). Take a small break to cool down and then check out the steam room (parilka), where you can be beaten about the body with dried branches (vennik), usually birch, oak or juniper. Half the people in the parilka will claim there's not enough heat and start calling for someone to throw more water on the hot rocks, while the other half feebly croak "too much, too much" - the guys who want more steam usually win. This combination of heat, steam, and physical abuse purges your body of impurities and gives you a clean unattainable by mere showers or baths.

Once you have been purged to your satisfaction or to the limits of your endurance, head to the icy cold pool (bassein) and jump in. Assuming you survive this, you should head back to the steam room or stand under a warm shower so you don't catch pneumonia. Repeat the cycle one or two more times and then stagger back to the dressing room for some tea (people usually bring their own in thermoses) or beer.* Those with more masochistic instincts will drink vodka, though be warned that the dehydration significantly lowers your tolerance and banyas, with their slippery floors, are bad places to be really drunk. Serious banya patrons stay for about three hours. Don't bring too much money as your wallet will be left practically unattended in the dressing room while you are cooking. Fresh tip: If you have a history of heart trouble do not do any of this, unless you want to spend your last hours on earth in a room filled with sweaty, naked people.